Sometimes, we are just too proud to admit we struggle. My hope and prayer is that you will be blessed with the faithfulness of God in your life even in the smallest of details - the ones that often spoil the big picture when we let them.
I have struggled lately with feeling "anxious," about a particular situation. My human nature wants everything to be alright, roots secure. My spiritual nature tells me when I am trusting the Lord, the roots can be shaken free from this earthly soil, and it doesn't matter what is going on, it is "alright," because I am rooted and grounded in Him.
The Lord brings verses to mind that remind me of His constant oversight and "working behind the scenes" on my behalf 24/7. That He does not sleep for watching over me. That I shouldn't be anxious for anything, but trust Him for everything because no one loves with a more unconditional, perfect love; and that perfect love casts out all fear (feeling unsettled or anxious). Phil 4:6
In fact, the website www.soulshepherding.com indicates that our Heavenly Daddy, Gardener tell us at least 365 times (enough for a new reminder every day of every year) to "fear not, or be anxious for nothing." He does know us so well. He could be aggravated that He has never failed and yet we continue to fret; but because of his long-suffering towards us, He repeats and reminds without condemnation. Oh, to love others like that.
He made me is such a way that I need to communicate with people around me. I need others to communicate with me. I have a collaborative nature and don't appreciate being isolated or not being able to express my thoughts and opinions when in a group trying to accomplish a common goal.
Yet, knowing my human needs, He is allowing me to experience isolation. I tend to ask, "Lord, you know this is difficult for me - why would you allow this to happen?" All I hear is silence. No answer. Not only is He allowing me to feel isolation in my situation, but I think I feel it from Him as well.
Then, I am reminded I don't grow as much spiritually and emotionally when everything is great. I mature in Him when I depend on Him and Him alone for collaboration and affirming feedback or peace in the lack of collaboration knowing that He is always at work for my good.
So, in the midst of these thoughts, the good "suster" called me and shared a verse the Lord had brought to her mind about a situation she is experiencing. John 5:17. "My Father is working, and I am working [on your behalf and the Holy Spirit is comforting your soul with that knowledge - when you will listen]. She had no idea what I was writing. God is indeed always working.
While I was thanking the Lord for His unconditional love, He led me to this marvelous devotional on God's silence and what intimacy it brings to the relationship because it indicates such trust. I can't say it nearly as well or profoundly. Please enjoy, "My Utmost for His Highest."
Has God trusted you with His silence— a silence that has great meaning? God’s silences are actually His answers. Just think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany waiting on Him to come heal Lazarus! Is there anything comparable to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking Him for a visible answer? God will give you the very blessings you ask if you refuse to go any further without them, but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into an even more wonderful understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible— with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, then praise Him— He is bringing you into the mainstream of His purposes. The actual evidence of the answer in time is simply a matter of God’s sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you may have said, “I asked God to give me bread, but He gave me a stone instead” (see Matthew 7:9). He did not give you a stone, and today you find that He gave you the “bread of life” (John 6:35).
A wonderful thing about God’s silence is that His stillness is contagious— it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, “I know that God has heard me.” His silence is the very proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will always bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of His silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, then He will give you the first sign of His intimacy— silence.
Sweet friends in Christ - My constant prayer is that my heart will be in tune with the heart of God, that He is akin to an earthly soul mate but so much more. I trust His heart so much that whether I wait in silence or in full collaboration in communication, the situation does not change. There is no fear, no worry, so aggravation, just pure peace - the kind that passes all understanding; and the intimacy in my relationship with God is strengthened through all of the circumstance of life when my eyes are on Jesus. After all, It is God my Heavenly Daddy who guarantees outcomes to glorify Himself. I can indeed trust His heart and therefore, His intent in my life.
I love you all more today than I did yesterday, because the love of the heart of my God is more real today than it was yesterday. And all of God's people said, "Amen and "Amen. Joyfully, Mecca