Even after I spent time this morning orienting myself to the heart of God, I got to work feeling undervalued, unappreciated, and just having a tiny bit of a pity party. Isn't that just like me? I had just spent the last 45 minutes listening to my Heavenly Daddy speak truth into my life through the Daily Audio Bible. One verse that particularly caught my attention and wooed my heart was Romans 11:36 "For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen."
I had heard that verse many times in my life, but this morning, the sweet Lord Jesus loved me to Himself with those words. "Mecca, you are here from Me - my creation, and through Me, and for Me; and your life should always reflect my glory. Without Me, you don't exist."
So dear ones, how is it that after that kind of experience, I could enter the workplace and have such feelings? I will tell you why.
I took my eyes off of Jesus and in less than 5 minutes, I forgot the daily manna from Heaven I had just received - that my life was about His glory.
All of a sudden, I was Elijah - fearful and placing my value in something or someone other than the "Lover of my Soul." I walked in full of Him, allowing none of me. And in the blink of an eye, it was all about me and none of Him. In that instant, I understood exactly how Peter felt. The very moment I took my focus off of what was real and true, I began to sink. I believed the lie my enemy whispered to me.
My heart cried out, "Dear Lord Jesus, "how do you stand me?"
I condemned myself and before I could even grovel and wax repentant, I received an email from someone attending training in one of our schools sharing the following message with me:
"Mecca, I just thought you would want to know that the trainer today said that next to the founders, and our CEO and President, you had had the greatest influence in her life with company."
That, dear ones, is mercy in all of its glory. I deserved rebuke, but instead, my Heavenly Daddy sent affirmation in the sweetest, most humbling way. While I was literally thinking, "how do you stand me," He was already diffusing those negative thoughts with a message that whispered, "stand you? - I
love you, laid down my life for you and wait with exceeding joy to fellowship with you."
That was a message directly from the heart of the God of the Universe who knows me by name and calls me His own. It humbled me, blessed me and filled me to my core. It wasn't that someone said that - (I even hesitated to share the particular comment) but that God sent me a message of affirmation when He had the right to rebuke; and He did it in a timely manner and in the words that would mean something to me at that moment and in the context of my self-pity.
That's what my Heavenly Daddy means when He says, "It is the goodness of God that brings us to repentance."
John 8:10-11 “Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?’ ‘No, Lord,’ she said. And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I.’”
Romans 8:11 "For there is therefore now no condemnation to those who walk in Christ Jesus."
I was ashamed, but not condemned, because He doesn't condemn me. I repented - not out of guilt but because of His great love and precious tenderness.
Thank you for letting me share my heart - even when it is flagrantly self-centered. I vow in your presence and as my witnesses that I continually desire to orient myself to the great heart of God through His Word and in conversation with Him in prayer.
My challenge today and the one I leave with you is the challenge my Heavenly Daddy left with me:
- to do what is just by being fair and honest;
- to love mercy by showing forgiveness to someone you have the right and authority to rebuke or discipline; and
- to "walk humbly with your God" by recognizing, reverencing and being obedient to that still small voice. (Micah 6:8).
Take the world, but give me Jesus,
Sweetest comfort of my soul;
With my Savior watching o’er me,
I can sing though billows roll.
Oh, the height and depth of mercy!
Oh, the length and breadth of love!
Oh, the fullness of redemption,
Pledge of endless life above!