Victor or Victim? The Choice is Ours to Make!

My father-in-law was a pastor for many years, and one of the best pieces of advice he ever gave me was, "never make your happiness dependent on any circumstance or anyone other than Jesus."  He would always tell me that I couldn't make it my goal to make everyone else happy because I was just setting myself up for failure.

I have learned that I can never make anyone happy all of the time. In fact, the most freeing realization is that I can't make anyone happy at all.  That is a personal choice each individual has to make for him/herself.

Here is a greater lesson; if I can't make anyone else happy, I shouldn't expect anyone else to make me happy.  What do you think about that?  Does that include my husband?  Husbands, does that include your wives?

Yes and yes.  I will never forget hearing about a young man who told his future wife when he asked her to marry him that he didn't need her in order for him to be happy.  Hewanted her and loved her but didn't need her for him to be happy.

My first thought when I heard that was, "well, that's not a very good way to begin a lifelong relationship."  I was 100% wrong.  (I know, where is the recorder when you need it?)  I realized what a precious gift he had given her.  He removed the burden for her to make him happy (something impossible to do anyway, right?)  He also removed the opportunity for him to ever blame her for his unhappiness.

Can you imagine what would happen to all of our relationships if they were based on "wanting" to be a friend, companion, husband, wife - instead of establishing those relationships because we need them?

Frank's dad also gave some great marriage counseling from the pulpit.  He would often say, "when you have found someone that you want to "do for" instead of someone you want "to do" for you, you have the best chance for a successful marriage." Wow! What a concept.

I can't tell you how many times in the 31 years I have been married to Frank that he has disappointed me by not meeting my expectations.  You might be wondering how many times I have disappointed him.  Well, we aren't talking about that right now - maybe later.  Right now we are talking about my disappointments.  Pretty selfish, huh?  It also makes me the victim.

I can spiritualize with the best of them. I can even quote Scripture to prove my point. What in the world is the matter with him?  He is supposed to love me as Christ loved the church and lay down his life for me.

How will he ever be able to lay down his life for me if I can't even get him to appreciate what I do for him, especially when I do it without being asked.  That is really big on my part.  If you need further description of how big, just ask me.  I guarantee you I can make it bigger.

I know I am not the only one that has ever thought that way, am I?

So, what is the answer?  The fact is we are incapable of accomplishing anything without God's favor.  We can't even take our next breath without His grace, much less take on the daunting, impossible task of making someone else happy.

Once again, the Word of God has all of the answers.  What a marvelous thing that God's wisdom is available to us 24/7.

My joy is in the Word of God: "Thy Words were found and I did eat (chewed, swallowed, digested, gleaned their goodness, used for health and life) them, and thy Word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of my heart for I am called by thy name Oh Lord, God of Hosts." Jeremiah 15:16

My hope is in the Lord Jesus and what He has planned for me on earth and for eternity: "the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven..." Colossians 1:5; "'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 - makes my heart happy.

Here are my two choices - My God is not a God of confusion.  He makes things pretty simple for us.

Do I place my hope and expectation in a fallible human being, which increases my potential for developing spiritual heart disease (hope deferred makes the heart sick - Prov. 30) or in the Lord, whose love knows no bounds, and who gave all to give me a hope and a future?

We have all heard the saying, "someone got up on the wrong side of the bed."  Well, that is the victim side where your expectations can't be met.  Crawl back in, roll over to the other side and let your feet hit the floor with such hope in the Risen One, that you are standing on the Solid Rock as the Victor.  So, how about it - Victor or Victim?

Do yourself and others a huge favor and make the right choice.  When I make the right choice, my prayer is, "Lord, change me," instead of  "Lord, change that sorry Frank that I love with all of my heart."  The strangest thing happens when I pray that prayer in all sincerity.  Frank cherishes me more, and I respect him more.  Pretty cool, huh? I'm approaching this and every day with the joy of the Lord. Love to all, Mecca

MeccaMusing: A Life He Keeps Changing

MeccaMusing: A Life He Keeps Changing: Dear Ones - has it really be almost two months since I have blogged?  I want you to know that God has been doing a work in my life.  I am...

A Life He Keeps Changing

Dear Ones - has it really be almost two months since I have blogged?  I want you to know that God has been doing a work in my life.  I am so grateful for His faithfulness even when I am not faithful.  That is what humbles me most.  

It is not always pleasant, "the work," that is.  But it is fulfillment of His promise that "He which hath begun a good work in [me] will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." (Phil. 1:6)  I love that promise, because when He is constantly unsettling me, it is proof positive I belong to Him.  There is great joy and peace in that.  

Seems like a paradox that one can be unsettled and at peace at the same time, doesn't it? To the world it does.  To this believer whose life He keeps changing, it is just part of the wonderful process of preparing me for eternity.

I hope you don't mind if I borrow thoughts from one of my very first blogs because I have truly been focusing once again on "delighting" in the person of Jesus Christ - not in what He can do for me - but in Him.  When I do that, I continue to be a life He keeps changing.  

I always feel like He has to work harder on me than others - you know, like assign extra angels to my car in the morning.  I hit a fire hydrant on the way to work one morning.  It was only 1,000 ft from my front door, but I was movin' around that curb, and that fire hydrant took off the side of my car.  

The fire hydrant was unmoved and undamaged - thank the Lord.  The first thing my insurance agent asked was, "do we need to call the city?"  Nope, no damage to the fire hydrant. 
 
Now, when Frank sees my scurrying around in the morning, forgetting keys, coming back for my phone and lipstick and forgetting those two rollers in the top of head so I will have a little "poof" (Texas girls always like a little "poof,") he will (sometimes) kindly say,  "Baby, be careful today.  This is one of those days when you will run over a fire hydrant, dogs, and small children."  Frank always prays with me in the morning and asks for the Lord's protection over both of us - but mostly me.  

This is life, right?  When I worry that I am not doing my share, and the Lord has to work harder on me, I am reminded of the verse in Proverbs 8:30 that tells me I am daily the Lord's delight.  I am amazed at that.  Are you? 

I looked up the word "delight," and it gave the normal words I would expect, "joy, happy, show of excitement," and then I read about what it meant in Hebrew. No, I don't read Hebrew, but I can google.  "Luxurious, delicate, feminine, to be of dainty habit, to be pampered, happy about" is what I found. 

The picture that instantly popped into my head was one of a child so excited about something that her little face was frozen in a squeal, shoulders up, and maybe even hands to the mouth in disbelief of something so wonderful. I can't imagine the God of the universe (my Heavenly Daddy) loving me and delighting in me as His child in such a powerful, mind-boggling way.  

I say I have "delighted" in Him when I read my chapter in Proverbs, one in the New Testament, a chapter in a devotional, say my prayer - usually asking for strength and faith, praying over my list of specific prayer requests and thanking Him for saving me.  

I need to be careful that I delight myself in Him and not what He does for me.  Then I can say that whether I have or don't have, I am delighted in His presence.

When I am truly delighting in Him, I am delighting in His Word and its convicting power to pierce and heal the wound all at the same time.  Delighting in His Word makes my life one He keeps changing.

As an aside, parents do your children know that you delight in them?  Do you delight in them? "Even as a father-the son in whom He delights - how blessed is the man who finds wisdom."  Theirs is a life you keep changing, and your life will change as well, when you do.

Thank you, Jesus, that you treat me as a rare, delicate, treasured gift, and I am worthy of it only because of the sacrifice of the rarest, most treasured gift in all of eternity.

Thank you, Lord Jesus that you delight in me (Is 62:4), that you rescued me because you delight in me, and in You I find the reason for approaching each day with joy.

Now, that is enough to make my heart burst with squealing delight.  Glad I'm not one of those snake handlers today.  The cages would be wide-open.

MeccaMusing: A Tsunami of Voices, but Ponder Anew!

MeccaMusing: A Tsunami of Voices, but Ponder Anew!: Dear sweet family and friends - It's been a beautiful day, about 50 for a high and in the 30's for a low, crisp, sunny, and a bit breezy. ...

A Tsunami of Voices, but Ponder Anew!

Dear sweet family and friends - It's been a beautiful day, about 50 for a high and in the 30's for a low, crisp, sunny, and a bit breezy.  I walked in the sunshine, and it was glorious.

It's been awhile since we communicated, and I just need to share some of my recent life's discoveries.  I noticed today that my thumb joint has a bump on it.  Reckon it might have arthritis?  I looked at my wrist, and there was a massive bruise on it, and I have no idea when or where I got it.  That means my skin is getting thinner.

I noticed an age spot on my arm and face (ok several age spots), and I have been making weird noises when I try to get up, bend over, or heaven forbid, come back up after bending over.  The other day I sat down in a chair that was a little too soft, and I had to have help getting out of it.  Now, that made me feel old.  If I hadn't been laughing so hard, it might not have been so hard to get up.

I don't wear a cup size anymore.  It's mostly just 38 Long.  Ok, I know that might be too much information; but hey, I just needed to share because I was wondering if any of you were experiencing some of the same symptoms, or if it were just me?  Let me know.  I need a plan - one for growing more beautiful on the inside, because my outer shell is failing me.  LOL!

Here's the big one.  I hear voices in my head.  I have always heard voices in my head, but in this age of information at warp speed, their magnitude and ferocity are unparalleled in my lifetime.  It is a tsunami of voices telling me how to look, act, feel, live, what car to drive or not to drive, telling me who's hot, what's hot, who's not, why they're not, why I'm not (hey, wait a minute).  Then, I ask myself why any of that matters anyway since none of those messages are from my Creator, my Heavenly Daddy.

Sometimes the voices get downright personal and start talking to me about things that matter deeply, things that are real areas of weakness in my life and telling me I can't be victorious so to just quit worrying about it; that I've been struggling all of my life with a thing, and the Lord hasn't helped me so why bother.

Then through the tsunami of voices - comes the one Voice with messages of hope, telling me I'm important and worthy of the sacrifice of God's Son for my salvation; that I am chosen, redeemed, set apart, loved with an everlasting love, perfect in Christ, that my weaknesses are made perfect in Christ's strength; that He knew me when my members were yet formed (Ps. 139); that He created a plan for me long ago before I was even born (Is 25:1); that I am precious to Him.

But - why is it that the negative and the bad are so much easier to believe?  The key is staying in the Word. His Word.  I do not believe my Heavenly Daddy speaks audibly to me. I believe He speaks through His written Word that comes alive in my heart as I read it, learn it, apply it, and continue to search out its riches, which I don't believe I will exhaust in my lifetime.

The more I know His Word, the more I know Him.  I recognize His voice amidst the clutter of the voices of the world, including those who say they represent Him.  "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me."  John 10:27

Oh dear one, may there never be a day that we don't recognize His voice amidst the clutter of the voices of the world.  Lord Jesus, let me listen for, hear and recognize your voice always.  Thank you that you know me.  Sweet Shepherd of my soul, I will follow you.

Quoting from the glorious old hymn, "Praise ye the Lord the Almighty ..."

"Ponder anew, what the Almighty can do, when with His love, He befriends me."  I will sleep sweetly tonight while I ponder anew and approach the dawning of a new day with "joy unspeakable and full of glory."  Love to all, Mec

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